Earlier this week I had a call with one of my new clients (if you’re not aware, I’m writing founder-led newsletters now). Part of what got me excited to work with this person is although he works at the bleeding edge of technology and business operations… he also sees this truth — the future is in relationships.
So let’s let AI agents like Operator build our businesses, and let’s focus on the people.
This week, we’re tackling something I learned the hard way after saying “yes” to too many things last year — the power of a strategic “no” and how it actually strengthens your network, not weakens it.
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🎯 THE COUNTERINTUITIVE POWER OF “NO”
Last quarter, I found myself triple-booked: several ‘potential’ speaking gigs, a ‘potential’ spot on a one-time event team, a ‘potential’ collab with a community leader, and a ‘potential’ job offer.
None of these opportunities came through.
Here’s the thing about potential — it’s seductive.
It whispers “what if?” in your ear and keeps you playing the same hand of uno reverse in a 2-person game.
In reality, returning back to your hand over and over in a game of professional UNO does not make a very fun game.
People in professional settings approach you when they need a decision. If you’re in a state of figuring it out, own that. But don’t let indecision erode your reputation.
Own Your Uncertainty.
If you’re uncertain about your path, say so confidently. People respect clarity, even if that clarity is, I’m figuring it out. Instead of vague responses like “Maybe, let me think about it,” try:
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Thank you for the opportunity, but I’m exploring a different direction right now.
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I’m in a transition period and don’t want to take on anything new just yet.
Earlier today I was speaking with a friend who hated people saying, “I’m figuring it out.” I hear you.
But what people hate more is wishy-washy “Yes!” acceptances of everything under the sun. By owning your uncertainty, you take control of your narrative rather than letting others dictate it.
Saying No Strengthens Relationships.
Leaving every door propped open distracts the mind.
I used to fear saying no because, especially as a woman, I depended on people’s acceptance of me. In the same light, some professionals fear saying no because they believe it will damage relationships.
However over the years, I’ve learned the opposite is true.
The people I care about accept my No more wholeheartedly. Setting firm boundaries also establishes yourself as someone who:
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Values their own time and commitments.
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Can be trusted to follow through when they do say yes.
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Respects the time and expectations of others.
If someone takes your ‘no’ personally, that says more about them than it does about you. People who respect you will respect your boundaries. Being decisive actually strengthens professional relationships. People respect clarity, even if it’s not the answer they wanted.
Every time you “waffle” on a decision to preserve a relationship, you’re actually weakening it.
Would you trust someone who couldn’t give you a straight answer about their availability or interest? Would you trust someone who says yes and does not fulfill their duties?
Likely, no. Especially in a professional setting, you may never refer that person or hire them.
Maybe Mode is the Enemy.
Every no makes space for the right yes. A few guiding questions:
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Does this opportunity move you toward your larger goals?
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Are you excited by this, or just afraid of missing out? (FOMO)
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Will saying yes stretch you in ways you want to grow, or in ways that drain you?
By filtering decisions through these lenses, you create room for the right ‘yes’—one that aligns with your skills, goals, and values.
For further reading, here’s a book rec:
If you’re in a listening mood, open up HBR IdeaCast on Decision Making under Pressure and if you don’t know how to say ‘No’ politely, check out this TedX.
Remember: Your clarity is currency. Spend it wisely. ✨
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Got more feedback or want to get in touch? Reply here and I’ll get back to you.
Thanks for reading!
Sincerely,
Lauren and the Connections team
